Long Beach Man Caught Smuggling Meth Disguised As Snickers Bars

Mr. Harris will face a long trial
His Snickers made nobody smile.
Smuggling meth to Japan?
Something tells me this man
Is not going anywhere for awhile.

Best line from the article: "There was no tasty nougat, caramel, or peanuts to be found anywhere."

Obama Flip Flops Stance On Negative Ads

"I will not run on negative ads,"
Barry swore. Then came oodles and scads
Of these mudslinging claims.
Guess the President's aims
At the high road were just short-lived fads.

Obama changes mind on "good-guy" campaign tactics

What happened to this?

Justin Bieber Pulled Over For Speeding

Justin Bieber, slow down little guy!
That speed you were going - too high.
Who'd you think you'd outrun
Flyin' down 101?
Paparazzi? Recall Princess Di?

L.A. City councilman Dennis Zine says he witnessed Bieber driving at speeds in excess of 100 mph on Freeway 101.

Television Icon Andy Griffith Dead at 86

A sheriff, a lawyer, and singer;
The memories of Andy will linger.
Hollyweird was outclassed
By the recently passed.
Not bad for a lib'ral left-winger.

Class act all the way around. So long Andy Griffith. :(

Obama to Eurozone: Get Your Debt Under Control

He tells Europe to shore up their debt?
That's the cockiest thing he's said yet!
Let's give thought and ligation
To our own situation,
Lest the plank in our eye we forget.

Obama tells Europe to watch spending, Germany finds it ironic...

Ultimate in Tackiness: Obama WantsYour Wedding Presents

An event coming up, like a wedding?
Forward all of those gifts you'll be getting
To Obama's campaign,
Help out Barry Hussein.
(Or would that be aid and abetting?)

I'm not making this up. Obama's reelection website is seriously asking you to tell friends and relatives to send  their money to him, in lieu of wedding gifts!

Man Attacked By Angry Mob of Leprechauns

He was bruised on his face and his arms
By a leprechaun mob. This alarms
Me to see such a crime.
Bet you that's the last time
That he'll try to steal their lucky charms.

Seattle man hospitalized after leprechaun attack...