Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Wannabe Jedi Taken Into Custody

In Portland, it's par for the course
To see the policemen enforce
The lightsaber laws.
Transgression is cause
To take the offenders by Force.

Man swinging toy lightsabers at police given jail time

Obama Campaign Now Accepting Credit Card Donations

Want to donate? You'll find it's not hard
With these card readers--so avant-garde.
I don't know what this says
Of the mind of our prez...
Fiscal policy--run up the card.

Re-election volunteers equipped with credit card readers

Monday, January 30, 2012

Trouble Over Twitter Posts Taken Too Literally

You're gonna say that as a tweet?
You might want to be more discreet.
Big Brother can read
What you post on your feed.
If you say the wrong thing you're dead meat.

British tourists arrested over wisecracking Twitter posts.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

What Privacy Settings? Facebook Is Going Public

It's likely the papers are drawn.
IPO means their privacy's gone.
So go on, buy a share,
But I'll warn you, beware;
This site, facebook? It might not catch on.

Facebook going public... possibly this week.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Who Doesn't Want To Be A Millionaire?

The person who bought it's a tease
Obscured through a trust from Belize.
Mr. "I think it's funny 
To turn down the money" 
Come claim it (...and share with me, please?)

Mystery Lottery Winner Won't Claim Prize

Teacher Sleeps At Work, Student Suspended For Taking a Picture

Wake up, Mr. Teacher, stop snoring!
Even YOU think that math class is boring.
The truth will be known,
By these pics on my phone--
I'm suspended? (But popularity's soaring!)

Boy suspended for photographing napping teacher

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Egypt Detains Six Americans

Arab Spring had a late season snow.
At the airport, LaHood was told, "no."
Arab Summer is hell,
Arab Fall has done fell,
And it's straight into Winter we go.

Tell old Pharaoh, let my people go...

Fried Food Not Necessarily Bad For Your Heart

Oil on everything! See, it's alright!
Greasy goodness; eat every last bite.
But please bear in mind
You must use the right kind,
And you still risk your pants getting tight.

British Medical Journal publishes a study showing frying with certain types of cooking oil may not be as bad for your heart as once thought.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Spielberg to Direct Moses Epic

Coming soon to a theater near you,
The tale of a wandering Jew…
Hey wait! That’s not right,
Pretty sure he’s Levite
(As in Levi, not Judah). It’s true!

Working Title: Gods and Kings. A Braveheart-ish version of the Moses story.

What Does Nancy Know?

These things that old Nancy may know,
Are they relevant items? If so,
Then why is she waiting?
I find this witch grating.
Pelosi's a blackmailing h... oh, um... pro.

Pelosi: There's something I know.

No Clapping At Debate

If the audience has to be quiet,
What's the point of attending this riot?
Why pay money to see
What is free on TV?
Save your cash for more beer in your diet.

Audience To Be Prohibited From Clapping at Presidential Debate

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

John Kerry Breaks Nose Playing Hockey

Mr. Kerry was lacing his skates
In the midst of a game with his mates.
Flip-flopping, he cried,
"I shall leave them untied!"
Then he tripped. Sir, your ambulance awaits.

Read the story at CBS Boston...