Trenton N.J. Faces Toilet Paper Shortage

Hello? I am making this call
From the men's room inside City Hall.
I don't know what to do;
I just went number two
And need TP... there's none in the stall. :(


City may shut down some public buildings, including City Hall, if toilet paper issue not resolved soon...

World's Tallest Man Stops Growing

Sultan Kosen, a whopping 8'3",
Was growing as fast as a tree.
So they zapped at his gland
And it worked, just as planned:
He stopped growing (except his goatee).


Doctors at University of Virginia treat the world's tallest man and "stunt" his growth.

...no, he doesn't have a goatee, but "hair" didn't rhyme.

Mr. Panetta, Please Read This: It's the Constitution

He's forgotten who gives him the right
To gather our troops for a fight.
It's NOT the UN's
Call. The Reps and the Sens
Are the ones who give power to smite.


Resolution introduced to impeach Obama should he go to war without Congressional approval...

Invisible Mercedes... Sure You Have One... Uh-huh.

Invisible car? That's so awesome!
And Mercedes to boot. Go withdraw some
Cold cash from your bank:
It's expensive and swank.
You could say they don't work if you saw some.

Mercedes showcases "invisible" car with the help of flexible LED mats and a camera.

UN Condemns Israel For Treatment of Palestinian Women

Condemnation came from the UN
Saying Israel's at fault once again.
If Palestine's ladies
Live lifestyles from Hades,
I'd blame it on Palestine's men.


No condemnation for Syria, Libya, or Iran?

USA Chant Deemed Racist?

Can't believe what I'm reading today:
It's racist to chant USA?
Kids in glad jubilation
Shout the name of our nation
Then are branded as bigots? NO WAY!!


You think I'm kidding? This actually happened...
Last time I checked, USA was the name of a country, not a race.

King of the Jungle Urinates on Patriots Wet Receiver

Ochocinco, your life is a dream;
You play football on Tom Brady's team.
But today you're disgraced
By a shot that's well placed
By a lion. You stood in his stream.


Chad Ochocinco gets doused by lion pee...