Big Brother Bloomberg Battling the Bulge By Banning Biggie-Sized Beverages

Coming soon to the NYC folks,
There's a cap on the size of your cokes.
Mayor Bloomberg's endeavor
Is healthy, however,
You can still buy a carton of smokes.

NYC mayor proposes ban on the sale of large-size sugary drinks at restaurants, movie theaters, sport arenas, and street carts...

Now That's a REAL Golf Hazard

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's -- a door?
Can I take that last putt off my score?
True, I missed it wide right
But that noise ... impolite!
Hey pilot, you should have yelled 'FORE'!

Plane door lands on Florida golf course...

Facebook Stock Shares Plunge

IPO price to start: thirty-eight,
Then it rose seven bucks! Oh, but wait...
It lost eighteen percent.
Hear the buyer's lament:
We will stop clicking 'like' and click 'hate'.

Did people pay too much to own a piece of the world's largest social networking site?

Will Obama Be On Arizona's Ballot?

Arizona is wondering, shall it
Dispute Barry's birthplace locale? It
Is up to Hawaii
To prove, that is why we
Aren't sure if he'll be on the ballot.

AZ Secretary of State asks Hawaii to verify Obama's birth certificate....

Ambulances Are Being Ripped-Off For Their Meds

When they're not brewin' hootch in their stills
Some Virginians steal downers for thrills,
Rescue vehicles store
Versed, morphine, and more...
This is stressing me out; Where's my pills?

Drugs stolen from Spotsyvania County ambulances

Canadians Confused Concerning Controversial Currency

It looks like the Queen's in a tree.
Is that the Twin Towers I see?
Hey Canadian friends,
If this new bill offends,
You can send all your twenties to me.

The new Canadian $20 bill has some Canadians asking, "Is that the best we could come up with?"

Barack Obama Jokes About Eating Dog

The canine was food for Barack
Back when Barry was young, to our shock.
So he feasted on pup?
Yeah... that's pretty messed up.
Bet he said, "Tastes like chicken, bock-bock!"

Media types laugh as Obama makes dog-eating quips